I heard something on the radio while driving home from my morning classes that caught my attention. It's a little commentary bit by Dave Ross which originates on KIRO-Seattle (710kHz) and is re-broadcast in the middle of the day on WBBM-Chicago (780kHz), where I heard it. Ross is always amusing (as is Charles Osgood, Andy Rooney, and Paul Harvey), but this one so struck me that I thought I'd share it with you all. A transcription follows:
Ross: The president, as you've heard, is now proposing a return to nuclear power.
Bush: Nucular (sic) power is one of the safest, cleanest, sources of power in the world, and we need more of it here in America.
Ross: 'Cause these are not your grandfathers' nukes. These aren't even your Homer Simpson nukes.
Bush: Today's technology has made nucular power safer, cleaner, and more efficient than ever before...
Ross: These are nukes even a barefoot, sugar-free, tie-died, vegetarian tree-hugger could love!
Bush: ...with no air pollution, or greenhouse gas emissions.
Ross: And to think we've spent the last ten years actually taking apart nuclear plants.
Bush: Unfortunately, America has not ordered a new nucular power plant since the 1970s.
Ross: But, since we've been out of the nuclear loop for so long, where can we look for leadership in this area? What forward-thinking country can provide the inspiration for America's new nuclear future?
Bush: France, by contrast, has built fifty-eight plants in the same period...
Ross: Did he say "France"?
Bush: ...and today, France gets more than seventy-eight percent of its electricity from safe, clean nucular power.
Ross: He did say "France". I thought the French were supposed to be, with all due respect, the weenies of the world. Now the French have become our model for energy independence? What happened to "Old Europe"? What happened to the days that France was too backwards to understand the march of progress? You mean a country too blind to see the wisdom of spreading democracy actually has better electricity than we do?
I refuse to believe it. We must defy these nuclear French, my fellow Americans; build huge fields of wind turbines just for spite! But we wouldn't call them "wind turbines"; we'd call them "Freedom Spinners", "Liberty Pinwheels", "Patriot Propellers".
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